III. Moroccan Marriage Customs

On the New Year’s Eve when the twentieth century dawned, I found myself with the shereef out on the Atlantic Ocean somewhere off the Spanish coast. We were on our way back to Morocco where I would continue my interrupted work. I rented a house for myself outside of Tangier, but in the spring, at the time of the Muslims’ ”big holiday” – – I went on an excursion to a village in the Gharbîya tribal area where the shereef owns land that the sultan at one time had bequeathed to his holy grandfather, and where his uncles and cousins now rule as small despots. But the excursion then expanded to the neighbouring tribes of Ṣáhel, Laraiche and Alcazar.

In September, I settled in the countryside in the village of Brīsch in Gharbîya, on the shores of the Atlantic. The village consists partly of huts made of stone and clay, and partly of camel-hair tents; in the first live mountain folk who have settled here and in the second Arabs from the plains. I set up camp in a fig orchard where, for the first time, I was able to experience autumn in Morocco. One day after another, in uninterrupted succession, the sun shines down from a cloudless sky. The air is the perfect warmth and swims at the beach are heavenly. The night brings intermittent showers. The first blades of grass and flowers sprout from the scorched earth. The fig trees have already lost their leaves but here and there new ones are bursting forth to take their place, prematurely frosting the branches with a delicate green. The trees dream, the people say. The village men are busy with their autumn work. The maize lies collected in small round piles on the sandy hill. A couple of horses or oxen stamp around on the piles, threshing the grain with their hooves. But the people are not in much of a hurry. The men mostly lie down in groups, stretched out on the ground, talking and smoking – the crushed leaves and stalks of Indian hemp. The small boys herd the cattle, the bigger ones loaf about. The women do the chores and are seldom seen. The whole village is enveloped in an atmosphere of idleness and contentment. A Moroccan’s ideal is to do nothing and he is never bored.

Now is the season for wedding celebrations. Ahmed, the son of one of the more highly respected men in the village, is going to be married to a girl from Ṣáhel. His father had heard from a friend that there was a suitable bride available for his son. He therefore set off to negotiate and succeeded, after some bargaining, in beating down the price for the girl to fifty Spanish silver dollar pieces. But before the wedding can be held, the wheat needed for the celebrations has to be cleaned. In small groups, each with a flag, women from the different households in the groom’s village come to his home, bearing small gifts of bread, butter, eggs and a few coins. They sit down in a tent set up for the occasion, with four flags waving on the roof, and begin cleaning the grain lying in a large pile in front of them. When they finish their work, a few gunshots are fired and the entire village is treated to a feast – the men and boys first, then the women. But Ahmed does not take part in the festivities. He has sat the entire time in a nearby olive grove where the village’s patron saint Sîdi ʿAbdlḥâdi has his grave. He is naturally keen to ensure the saint’s favour and aid through prayers and small offerings now that he is about to cast off into the sea of matrimony. For that sea is full of hidden rocks. As is expected and befitting of a decent young man in Morocco, Ahmed has never seen his betrothed. In case the reader should take offense at the girl having been bought for money, I would like to point out that the Moroccan, on the other hand, is astonished that Christians do not pay anything for their wives. He naturally understands this to be evidence of the fact that they are worthless in our eyes.

The bride price () differs greatly in different parts of Morocco and usually varies even in the same region. In Fez, it is comparatively high. Persons who are not considered wealthy at all must pay from seventy to a hundred dollars for a virgin and thirty or forty dollars for a widow or divorced wife, while the price can go up to six hundred dollars if the youths’ parents are rich. In Andjra, a poor man can attain for himself an equally poor wife for ten dollars or even less, whereas in rich families one or two hundred dollars are paid for a good prospect. But in certain parts the dowry is set in stone by custom, entirely independent of wealth and other circumstances, although it still varies significantly even within different parts of the same tribe. In a region of Dukkâla where I resided for some time, it only cost twenty , nominally corresponding to eight marks, while in another place in the same tribal area the amount went up to twenty times that. But it is very common that the entire amount is not paid immediately; instead half or a smaller portion of it is paid only at the death of the husband or if he divorces his wife without reasonable grounds. It should be noted that the wife will benefit from the [ṣdaq] fully or partly: when a father marries off his daughter, he will keep at most a part of the amount he receives for himself and use the remainder, or often the entire amount, for his daughter’s trousseau. But even when the entire passes on to the daughter, it is still very possible that the father will treat her like a commodity. For in several tribes it is the custom for the man to pay not only the , but also a so-called or , which comes to a significantly higher amount and is kept by the father in its entirety. It may well be a remnant of the old Berber bride price, although is an Arabic word that means ”food” and is a Berber form of the Arabic , which means ”turban”. The Berbers have, in general, a surprisingly strong inclination to adopt Arabic words into their language. or , as it is called in written language, is an institution of Arabic origin prescribed in Moslem law. It is required for the settlement of a legal marriage.

And as goes to Ahmed’s unfamiliarity with his future wife, I wish to add that especially among the Arabic-speaking mountain folk in northern Morocco, the sexes are so strictly separated that marriages of love are impossible. A young man may of course have his own preferences, which he will let his parents know indirectly – he cannot himself speak of the matter with them in all decency – but the most common way is for them to select a wife for him and in some cases they do so while their son is still a young boy. They also take care of the proposal with the help of several mediators. This takes place in slightly different ways in different areas. The following account refers to Andjra’s mountain folk.

Once the young man, through an older relation, has let his parents know that he has nothing against their choice of wife, or they have acceded to his wishes, the mother visits the girl’s mother to get the lie of the land. If the latter opposes the marriage, she will explain that the girl is already engaged, whether this is true or not, whereas a , ”welcome”, is a clear sign that she is agreeable. In that case, the two mothers agree on a day for the proposal, and it is unlikely that there will be any uncertainty in the outcome as the mother usually decides over her daughter’s hand. On the set day, the young man’s father, with the village schoolmaster and two other esteemed men, arrive to negotiate with the girl’s father; and they do not come empty-handed, but bearing gifts of candles and sugar or salted butter and honey. They greet him with the phrase , ”I am the guest of God” and receive a in response. They are offered tea and food, whereby the schoolmaster asks the girl’s father if he knows what errand they have come on. ”You are welcome,” he says, ”whatever your errand be.” The schoolmaster then explains the reason for their visit. The father says: ”Well and good, I have given her to him if God has given her to him.” The schoolmaster asks him for the terms. ”The custom which the people follow also we shall follow,” is the response. The father then goes and consults his wife and answers the schoolmaster’s questions according to her guidance. When the schoolmaster asks how much he wishes to have as , he says, for example, forty dollars. The schoolmaster maintains that this is too much and offers maybe thirty; and everything he proposes is approved by the father. When they have agreed on the , the schoolmaster asks: ”Is there anything else you want?” The father answers: ”I also want a ” (”a present”). The schoolmaster: ”What will that be?” –The father: ”A big bullock.” The schoolmaster: ”Oh not a very big one.” –The father: ”And a big clay jar full of salt butter.” The schoolmaster: ”A small one will suffice.” –The father: ”And a pitcher of oil.” The schoolmaster: ”No, just a half.” –The father: ”And thirty of corn.” The schoolmaster: ”Only fifteen.” –The father: ”And ten pairs of slippers” (intended both for the girl and other members of the family). The schoolmaster: ”No, only five pairs.” It is also agreed that the girl shall receive a shawl or two, a carpet, a wooden trunk, a mirror and a mattress together with other bed-clothes. And then they call on God to bless the undertaking. A few days later, the men go to the young man’s village and fire off three volleys of loose gunpowder in the yard and wish his parents good luck with the common phrase: . It is the custom that they be treated to tea and . But if no feast is given, the bachelors catch hold of the young man, put him into a type of hammock which they have suspended between two trees and let him lie there until he entertains them with a meal.

I did not stay long enough in Br͞isch to get to experience Ahmed’s wedding. Instead, I was in attendance at another wedding in the neighbouring village – admittedly as an uninvited guest. Dressed as a Moroccan, with yellow leather slippers on my feet, a white turban on my head and a long robe over my clothes, and sheltered by the dark of the night, I positioned myself inconspicuously among the spectators, when the bridegroom was ceremoniously smeared with henna. This ceremony, which usually takes place before the bride arrives at the new home, is one of the most important parts of the wedding. Dressed in white, with the hood of his robe drawn down over his face and as still as a statue, the bridegroom sits in the courtyard outside his dwelling, while one of his female relatives or, in some parts, his best man slowly applies the red colour onto his hands or his right hand in the presence of many guests, who, each in turn, lay down a silver coin on a tray or in a bowl at the feet of the bridegroom. Next to him stands a man who calls out the donor’s name and asks God to bless them. The women sing or let out shrill noises. Musicians play music. The men fire their guns, which are loaded with loose gunpowder. But one must not believe that all of this noise is just for fun. It is intended to frighten away devils and clear the air of evil influences. After all, a wedding is a dangerous event, when all of the evil forces are at large and especially the bride and groom must be protected against spirits and magic and people’s evil eye. That is why the bridegroom is painted with henna, which both protects and cleanses. For the same reason, he carries a sword or a dagger or a piece of rock-salt in addition to other amulets – as devils are afraid of steel and salt. And when the ceremony is over, they let the bowl in which the henna was mixed with water fall to the ground and break so that all evil is warded off.

But alongside the traditions that are intended to protect the bridegroom against lurking dangers, the henna ceremony includes others that are intended to offer him more positive benefits. His white clothing shall make his life bright and happy. For the same goal, an egg or a silver bangle is placed in the bowl with the henna or on the tray on which the silver coins are deposited. And these are hardly considered presents in the true sense of the word, but instead more like magical lucky coins meant to bring prosperity to the new home. The amounts are carefully noted down as they must all be repaid in the future under corresponding circumstances.

In Fez, where it is not customary to paint the bridegroom with henna, he receives silver coins from his friends when he is placed in a chair to be shaved, while a Negress sprinkles rose water on his hair with myrtle sprigs before the barber carries out his task. His friends first make the coins sticky with their tongues and then stick them to the bridegroom’s forehead or cheeks. They do this one at a time, and one after the other receive a blessing for their gift, whereby the barber wipes away the coins with his hand to make room for the next donor’s presents. The coins are not given to the bridegroom, but to the barber, who can make fairly good winnings – even up to a couple of hundred dollars if the family is rich. Once the bridegroom’s head is shaven bare, he is carried in great haste by his friends to the so-called ], a near-lying house that has been rented or lent as a place of celebration for the bridegroom and his friends during the wedding.

A celebration has already been held earlier at the young man’s house, specifically on the evening of the engagement. Some summoned – Negresses whose job it is to assist Fez ladies during festivities – then dress him as a bride and sit him on a cushion-covered mattress where he shall then sit with closed eyes as brides do. One of the Negresses sings: ”Where are you, O friends of the bridegroom?” The young man’s friends now enter. A Negress gives him a little milk to drink to make his future ”white” and another puts into his mouth a date, a symbol of wealth. They then treat his friends the same way, who in turn stick silver coins to the bridegroom’s forehead, while the women on the upper floor and the Negresses let off a high-pitched and trilling noise, called , which is produced through extremely fast horizontal movements of the tip of the tongue and most closely resembles a repeated ly, which is suddenly interrupted by a short it, when it is necessary to take a breath. The custom of dressing the bridegroom as a woman can be found also in some other countries: Plutarch recounts, for example, that this took place on Kos and Medieval writers that it took place among the Jews in Egypt. This has been interpreted in different ways. Some researchers suggest that the purpose is to deceive the malignant spirits who lie in wait for the bridegroom; but if this were the case, he would be unlikely to be dressed as the bride as the bride is even more vulnerable to visits from the spirits. The custom in question accords better with Crawley’s theory: that the bridegroom as well as the bride assume the dress of the opposite sex to lessen the danger that is thought to be associated with their first contact with one another. It neutralises somewhat the contrast between the sexes, seeming to act as a type of inoculation. Besides, in some areas of Morocco, the bride is expected to imitate the appearance of a man by putting on a man’s cloak or by carrying her shawl thrown over the left shoulder and a dagger at her side or having sideburns painted on her cheeks.

Throughout Morocco, it is common for the bride to be smeared with henna, and it is not only her hands that are painted thus, but also her feet, and sometimes also her arms and legs, face and hair. She is, as mentioned, even more susceptible to evil influences than the bridegroom; there is a specific jinn, or evil spirit, called , whose specialty is stealing brides. She is also cleaned by bathing and ablutions. In Fez, she will go to the hot bath three afternoons in a row in the company of some female relations, one of whom brings with her a wax candle. When they enter the hot bath, the candle is lit and the women strike up an ear-splitting – apparently to chase away jinn which always haunt such places. On the last afternoon, seven women pour over her seven buckets of lukewarm water and then paint her with henna. In some areas, a sewing needle and a little salt are placed in her right slipper due to the jinn, a silver coin so that her life will be ”white” as silver, and a date or a raisin so that she shall be ”sweet” and agreeable to her husband’s family. The bride also has certain tricks for making herself her husband’s master. Before her father slaughters the ram that will be served at the celebration of her departure from her old home, she mounts it and boxes its ears properly a few times; the ram is, you see, a substitute for the future husband. She then hangs on it a necklace so that the husband shall be weak and afraid like a woman. And when the animal is slaughtered and its stomach is laid on a large wooden plate, she steps on it to ensure the husband will be very meek and docile. The same evening she eats the ram’s heart in order to win the husband’s.

Once the bride is painted with henna, she is taken to her new home by the bridegroom’s friends and relatives, usually of both sexes, who have come to fetch her; but the bridegroom himself does not join them and, as a rule, neither does his father. As on no account must the bride touch the threshold or the bare ground with the soles of her shoes, a blanket or piece of clothing is spread out in front of her when she is to leave her parents’ home and she is then borne to the animal that will take her to the bridegroom’s home. Among the mountain people, it is usually a mule, and among the plains people, often a camel, but in some tribes, they are of the opinion that it must be a mare, which is a fruitful animal, so that the bride shall also be fruitful. In Gharbîya, they are of another opinion: there the animal must be a stallion so that boys shall be born in the new home. The same effect can be achieved by a boy sitting behind the bride, but his job is also to stop her from falling off. In northern Morocco, she is transported to the bridegroom’s home in a large box that has been placed on the animal’s back, but in other regions, they are happy simply to cover up her face. This is to protect her from others’ evil eye, and at the same time to protect other people from her gaze. For if the bride looks upon a person or an animal, it brings misfortune. She is both in danger herself and a danger to others. This is why all kinds of precautions are taken during her journey to the new home and at her arrival there.

In Fez, the bride is accompanied by some women who are dressed like herself, so that no-one can distinguish between them; this is to protect her from magic and the evil eye. If they come upon running water, one of the women throws salt into it before the bride passes and they avoid all bridges from which water can be seen, as wherever there is water, there are also jinn. In the countryside, the bridal party sets up a terrible racket. The men walking in front of the bride fire off one volley after the other so that she is enveloped in a cloud of gunpowder smoke. Musicians bang on their drums and blow on their oboes. The women sing and trill at the highest possible treble. What devils could stand such a clamour? And just as little can the jinn tolerate the smell of gunpowder. Behind the animal on which the bride rides, women from her own or the bridegroom’s family walk, holding the tail so that no person of ill will can come and stick their finger in it and, through such magic, rob the virginal bride of her most precious possession. If the bridal party passes a village, some women will run out and hand the bride a bowl of milk or sprinkle milk on her; this, they say, will make her future ”white” and happy. But I have also heard that milk is sprinkled on the bride and her following to prevent all the shooting bringing misfortune with it – it prevents enemies armed with guns from attacking the village. I am inclined to believe that the idea of protecting the village from evil is the original motivation for the custom in question, rather than concern for the bride’s future. A bridal procession is considered dangerous in Morocco: if anybody meets one on the road it is considered ill-luck, and if two bridal parties meet, the women bombard each other with stones to drive away the bad luck. In several areas, it is also customary that when the bride and her retinue leave her old home, the people there throw stones after her – as I was told in one place – so that she shall take her evil with her.

When the bride arrives at the bridegroom’s home, the animal she is riding is led around his house or tent three or seven times to be rid of the evil forces that she has brought with her. His mother hands her a bowl of milk or sprinkles water on her; the latter is said to lead to rain which is always very much sought after for the sake of the harvest, but it can also be a purification ceremony. In Andjra, the mother-in-law crushes an egg against the mule’s forehead, ”in order that the bride shall be white and red like the egg and bring no evil with her, but be a blessing to her husband”. Then she throws bits of bread, raisins, figs and walnuts onto the box on the animal’s back ”in order that there shall always be plenty of food in the new home”. The bride is taken out of the box by her brother, and a strong woman carries her on her back into the bridegroom’s room under the cover of blankets, which shield her from the gazes of the onlookers. The air resounds with the women’s , the musicians’ playing and the men’s shooting. And the bridegroom’s parents ply the guests with and meat, while the bridegroom himself sits quietly in the bachelors’ circle without touching the delicacies. He awaits the big moment after the onset of darkness when his friends shall take him to the door of the bridal chamber.

Other areas have different traditions. Among the Aith Yúsi, a Berber tribe south of Fez, whom I visited a few years ago, the people in the bridegroom’s village go meet the bride and her retinue and sprinkle them with milk or water. The bride is then taken around the village three times before she can make her entrance, but if several weddings are held at the same time, as often is the case, the brides must wait for one another so that they are taken around the village together. The bachelors then try to steal the bride’s slippers or something else she is wearing, and this leads to a violent brawl between them and the bridesmen, who in their defence of the bride are energetically supported by the women. Among these Berber who permit a relatively free interaction between the sexes, a few young men are appointed as bridesmen or when the bride is painted with henna. When the bridal party arrives at the bridegroom’s tent, the bride stands on the stirrups with her face turned towards the tent’s entrance. The bridegroom’s mother or sister hands her a tray with raisins, which she receives with two hands and throws over her head; raisins bring good luck on account of their sweetness. The mother-in-law then hands her a lamb, which she throws over the tent; this guarantees that many lambs shall be born in the village. The bride beats the tent three times with a cane which she has in her hand to drive away all evil that is present therein; it would be tiresome for her if an accident should happen shortly after her arrival, as all the blame would naturally be attributed to her unlucky fringe. She stands up on the saddle while the bridesmen hold her feet, moves her hands three time to the east, in the direction of Mecca, each time repeating in a quiet voice: , ”God is most great”; this is ”the prayer of the bride”, . She then sits down in the saddle and is borne, saddle and all, into the bridegroom’s tent by one of the bridesmen, who then brings the saddle back to the horse. The mother-in-law puts some in her shawl, she goes out with her face still covered, allows the horse to eat from the three times, and throws the rest in its face lest the mare die or become barren because the bride had ridden it. Upon returning to the tent, a bridesman lifts her up onto his right shoulder. Her mother-in-law hands her a clump of butter which she rubs on the tent pole to ensure that there will always be butter in the household. The bridesman dances around with her sitting on his shoulder and he finally sets her down on the bed, where she must sit until the wedding guests have been treated to and salted butter, and there is singing and dancing both inside and outside the tent. But once most of the guests have left, the mother-in-law bares her right thigh, places a little on it and lets the bride eat of it three times. The custom is for the bride to carefully bite her mother-in-law on the leg so that they will get along well in the future. In a neighbouring tribe, the mother-in-law washes the bride’s right foot and hand over one of the three fire-stones – so that she will be as permanent in her new home as they are. Then the washing water is sprinkled onto the sheep and cows – so that the bride will be good friends with them.

Among the Berbers in southern Morocco, it is common for the bridegroom to await the bride’s arrival on the roof of his house and to welcome her with a shower of dates, raisins, almonds and walnuts. And in a tribe in the Great Atlas Mountains, he tries to rap her with a long cane that he holds in his hand. But it is not so easy for him to reach her, as she is protected by four men who hold a blanket over her head.

Then arrives the solemn occasion when the bride and bridegroom shall finally meet. This is how it is done in Andjra. When the bridegroom closes the door after himself, he must be careful not to turn around to ensure that evil spirits do not enter with him, as all of the devils are now on the move and danger lurks in every corner. He throws off his white or shawl, turns to the east and says a prayer. There is food on a long table; he eats some and says to the bride who is sitting behind a curtain: , ”O my wife, you must eat with me.” When she does not answer, he pulls open the curtain and sees his new wife – most likely for the first time in his life. He puts in her mouth a little bread, a piece of chicken, a raisin and small pieces of a walnut, a fig and an egg. He takes a pitcher of water and a bowl that have been brought there from the bride’s home, goes to the four corners of the room and sprinkles them with water, then takes the bride’s hands, first the one and then the other, and dips her fingertips in the water he has poured into the bowl. He drinks from the bowl and then holds it to her mouth so that she can drink; he must absolutely drink first lest he be henpecked by his wife. He presses the thumb and middle finger of his right hand against her temples, reads over her the ” of the djinn” from the Koran and then utters a few words of blessing: – ”O lady, may God bless you and me and our house, may he give us children, and may he give us peace, and may he give us herds and flocks; there is no god but God, and Muhammed is the Prophet of God.”

At day-break the bachelors pound on the door and ask the bridegroom to get ready. The bride’s assistants or – two married women of her family – who have spent the night in an adjoining room, tell the bachelors to have some patience. They then enter the couple’s room, check the slippers placed on the bed to bear witness to the bride’s virginity, let their satisfaction be known with an audible trill and congratulate the bridegroom with a kiss on his forehead. When the bachelors hear the trill, they fire off a few shots which make the glad tidings known in the farthest corners of the village and then accompany the bridegroom to the small village mosque where he receives the well wishes of the schoolmaster and the married men. The latter come in with bound hands: the bridegroom is treated like a sultan and the married men like rebels that have surrendered. But their loyalty does not last long. Soon they enter again as a united band to steal the sultan’s slippers and turban and the bachelors’ flags. There is a terrible noise and brawling. If the bachelors win, the troublemakers are bound and punished with blows from sticks but are eventually pardoned; and it all ends with general feasting, while the musicians strike up a morning serenade outside the bridegroom’s house.

In another Arabic-speaking mountain tribe, Tsūl, who live further south – not far from Fez – the wedding night takes place in the following manner, according to statements made to me by a divorced wife. When the bride hears the bridegroom’s steps, she removes the slipper from her right foot and waves it seven times in the direction of the door; she does this to ensure the man will be under her rule. When he enters, he immediately cuts the rope that supports the curtain in front of the bed where the bride is sitting and approaches her without saying a word. She kisses his hand – a courtesy that he reciprocates by wresting from her head the bridal hat, which consists of a cone-shaped framework of bamboo pieces, tied together with silk thread and a couple of pieces of cloth that hang over her face in front. He breaks the hat and throws it to the floor; in this way he destroys any evil influences or as the Moroccans say. He taps her lightly on the top of her head with the flat of his sword seven times – to be the man of the house – and only then does he speak to her. He burns different kinds of incense to chase away the evil spirits. If the bride makes resistance and the bridegroom cannot manage alone, he calls in his vizier or best man who stands behind the door ready to come in and tie up the bride. When the bridegroom lays his head on her arm, she perhaps whispers a few words so quietly that he cannot hear them, to make his love abiding: , ”I have made you a bed with my flesh and I have covered you with my flesh, may you be fond of me as the dead is fond of his grave.” When the bridegroom leaves the room, his vizier fires two shots and the village women come to see with their own eyes proof of the bride’s virtue. They let out a loud trill and begin dancing around the room – the bride’s sister with the evidence of virginity on her head – whereupon the garment is hung up in the garden for all to see. If it is discovered that the bride was not a virgin when she came to the wedding house, someone will shout to her father: ”Take away from me your bitch!” The father will then enter the room where she is lying and shoot her on the spot. But it is very seldom that a wedding has such a humiliating end. Among the Berber south of Fez, who are less fastidious, it is fairly common for the bridegroom to let the blood of a cock cover up the bride’s earlier indiscretions.

The wedding, in a sense, lasts seven days, although the guests often leave the day after the bride arrives in her new home. During this time, it is customary in several regions for the bridegroom, together with the bachelors in the village, to set out on a tour of the surrounding area. He is still treated like a sultan and naturally wishes, as such, to avail himself of his right to collect taxes from his subjects. He and his men collect money and food on their journey, but the married men again play the part of rebels and make a racket and stir up a fight.

Meanwhile, the bride is shut into her room or the tent. On the seventh day, a new belt is tied around her – until now, from the start of the wedding, she has not been allowed to wear such a thing; and now she is permitted to leave the house. But this applies only to the rural population. In Fez, it takes at least six weeks before the young wife is even allowed to go up on the flat roof of the house where the ladies like to spend their afternoons, and in Tangier, in days of old, she had to remain at home for an entire year.

This shows that the Moroccan wedding ceremonies are not empty formalities but actually serve useful purposes. Many of them are intended to protect the bride and bridegroom from the supernatural dangers that threaten them. Others are meant to ward off the evil influences that the bride so easily spreads around her. Some are intended to lead to more positive benefits – bring happiness and prosperity to the new home, make the relationship abiding or blessed with children, especially boys, awaken conjugal love in the man, make his kinfolk friendly towards the wife or she towards them, in particular the mother-in-law, give the man power over his wife or the wife power over her husband, and so on. Furthermore, there are customs that express the antagonism between the different social groups affected by the important event. A marriage always causes a certain disturbance in the existing relationships; it severs old ties and leads to new ones. It robs the bride’s family of one of its members; it is no wonder then that the bride’s family see the bridegroom as some kind of intruder and treat him as such. When his friends come to fetch the bride, they are met with a shower of stones; before her brother or uncle carries her into the bridegroom’s room, he will have a small tussle with him; or the men and women from the bride’s village will try to give him a good hiding. Sometimes the women from both the bride’s and his own village set on him with blows or they cast curses over his and the bride’s father, as though the marriage were an insult to their sex; and the antagonism between the sexes also shows in fights between the women and bachelors, who wish to steal for themselves the food that the women have been provided with, and in the men’s attempt at stealing something from the bride, who is protected by the other women. And finally, we have the opposition between the married and unmarried of both sexes. The bridegroom is continuously surrounded by the village bachelors who protect him from the married men’s attempts to capture or plunder him, while the bride is surrounded by unwed girls who must make sure that the married women do not steal anything from her. In some parts, the bachelors assault the bridegroom after he has been painted with henna, as though as a punishment for abandoning their ranks. But their blows have also explicitly been described as a way to free him of evil forces, and it is very possible that also the other small skirmishes, at the same time as they accentuate the opposition between different social groups, also serve the purpose of cleansing the air of evil spirits. For sham-fights of one kind or another are very common purification methods in Morocco on different occasions.

The prophylactic or protective ceremonies are the most prominent in a Moroccan wedding. They are also the most interesting due to the questions they raise. One wonders: why are the bride and bridegroom considered to be more susceptible to supernatural forces than ordinary people and why is the bride herself a danger to others? A reason for this is that a person who marries for the first time enters into a new state and that it is generally considered more or less dangerous to pass into a new state or do something for the first time. It should be noted that a wedding looks very different depending on whether the bride or the bridegroom or both parties have been married before or not. A man who is a bridegroom for the first time is subject to precisely the same ceremonies whether the bride is a virgin or widow or a divorced wife, whereas these ceremonies are not implemented if he already has a wife or has had one before. And a woman who is a bride for the first time is subject to precisely the same ceremonies whether the groom is a bachelor or widower or a polygamist, whereas these ceremonies do not take place – at least not to the same extent – if the bride is a divorced wife or widow. From all of this I shall conclude that although certain prophylactic ceremonies absolutely can have their origins in the fear that the bride shall carry evil with her to the bridegroom’s home or village, both in her role as a newcomer and her role as a woman, the bulk of these ceremonies are, however, contingent on a person who is subject to them being a first-time bride or bridegroom. But here is a factor with the greatest significance. A wedding does not only mean a transition to a new state, but also a preparation for an act that is considered to have its dangers. Sexual relations are considered to be defiling and under certain conditions as a mysterious source of evil. Many facts could be cited as evidence of this.

A person who has had such relations must not enter a mosque or shrine or another holy place before he has cleansed himself by washing, lest he become blind or lame or mad or become sick and die or cause an accident to befall his wife, children or cattle. If a ploughman is not clean, the harvest will be bad. If the women who are weeding a field are not clean, more weeds will grow or they themselves will become ill; and those who harvest, thresh or grind the grain must also be clean. If an unclean individual goes into the underground room where the grain is stored, both he and the grain will suffer. If he sets foot in the kitchen garden, he will corrupt the plants and it can also cause him harm. If he were to enter the pantry where the food is stored, rats can easily come and eat it all up. If he should take honey from a beehive, the bees will sting him or fly the coop forever. Should he enter a flock of sheep, something bad will happen to either him or the sheep. If he rides a horse, it will develop sores on its back and he himself will grow boils or die, or the horse will fall down with its rider. If he should see the wound on a circumcised boy, it will become infected; and if he were to look at a person bitten by a mad dog, the bitten person will get rabies. If he falls asleep, he will be plagued by evil spirits or be abandoned by his guardian angels.

The idea that sexual relations are unclean is at least partly a result of the mysterious veil that surrounds the whole sexual nature of man, but has also much to do with the concept that a woman is an unclean creature. If a woman goes near a hive of bees, they will die. Should she go to the threshing place, she will corrupt the grain that is lying there. In some regions, she is not allowed to visit the granary or kitchen garden. Certain saints do not allow women to make pilgrimages to their graves. Once, a woman was present at a saint’s feast held on the seashore between Cape Spartel and Azila, but as a result, the large pot in which the feast was being prepared fell on her, including its contents, and she was scalded to death. On certain occasions, the woman is considered to be more unclean than usual, and it is most likely that it is these oft-recurring events which are dependent on the female organism that have led to the idea of a woman’s unclean nature.

The dangers that are assumed to threaten the bride and bridegroom are of different kinds – other people’s magic or evil eye, tricks of the jinn or the mysterious impersonal evil influence that Moroccans call . I assume that all of these supposed dangers largely have their origin in the feeling of superstitious terror awakened by the new state which the married couple is stepping into and the nature of the act through which the marriage is consummated. Jinn are a type of spirit created already before Adam, but as a general rule, they haunt people in situations and places that feel eerie, and in many cases, they are apparently no more than personifications of mysterious qualities in persons or things. In the realm of the supernatural, boundaries are unclear: evil spirits and evil influences are confused for one another, as they arise from the same source – people’s fear.

A woman is also dangerous in many ways. Her eyes are terrible. When a feast is held in honour of a dead saint and many people have assembled, the men allow the women to eat first, for, they say, how could we dare eat in the presence of hungry women and therefore expose ourselves to their evil eye? Once when I was sitting at my writing-desk, one of my servants rushed into the room and slammed shut the shutters. When I asked him in astonishment why, without being asked, he had shut out the light so that I could not see anything, he answered that some women had come to fetch water from the well in the garden and he would not let me be exposed to their evil eye while I was writing. And he spoke with such conviction and warmth that I had to adopt my most friendly expression and say: ”That was kind of you, Muhammed, God bless you.” Women are skilled in all kinds of magic. When the sultan of the jinn Shĕm Hârush died, he left behind a daughter who is still alive and assists her own sex in doing magic; that is why women are better versed in the subject than scribes. They are Satan’s minions. When they are young, they can be so lovable, but an old woman is worse than the devil himself – . It is said that when a boy is born, a hundred devils are born with him and when a girl is born, a hundred angels are born with her. But as each year passes, one angel moves from the girl to the boy and one devil from the boy to the girl, so that when the man is one hundred years old, he is surrounded by a hundred angels, and when the woman becomes one hundred years old, she is surrounded by a hundred devils. And how many women are not outright jinn that wander among people in the shape of women, have relationships with them, bring children into the world and then one fine day take the lives of their men! I myself have seen such a woman; she was the wife of one of my teachers, a scribe from Dukkâla. One day she came to me and complained that her husband would hit her. When I chastised him in private for his behaviour, his face became very serious and he whispered to me: ”Do not scold me, she is a .”

It is therefore not so strange that Moroccans are afraid of their women. The same mystical characteristics that for women are a source of shame, also strike fear into men. And this is a factor that cannot be disregarded when it comes to women’s standing in Morocco. Generally speaking, she is not such an entirely weak, helpless and oppressed creature that one often assumes. In the countryside and among the cities’ poorer classes, she is of course forced to work hard. She is responsible for all of the household chores: she supplies the household with water and wood, grinds grain into flour, collects edible roots, milks the cows, sheep and goats, spins and weaves, prepares the food and cares for the children. But these duties are not only an encumbrance for her; they also give her authority over the areas that belong to her: indoors she is often more or less the absolute ruler. And she is careful to make sure that no man interferes in her business. In a village in central Morocco, the women were horrified when one of my men intended to fetch some water; they would under no circumstances permit it as fetching water is for women. The strict division of labour between the sexes can easily confuse the foreign traveller. He sees the women hard at work, while the men sit and lounge nearby, and he easily forgets that also the men, when it is their turn, must work hard within their special spheres of activity. He may become indignant when he sees the woman carrying a heavy burden while the man who walks ahead of her carries nothing more than his weapons. But he should bear in mind that the man has good reason to keep himself unburdened. An enemy may appear at any moment, which is why he must be ready to immediately protect himself and his wife. The different tasks in life are divided up between men and women based on the rules that largely correspond to the natural order. By which, I do not mean to in any way propose that Moroccan womenfolk lack all reason to complain.

Polygamy is a very galling thing. Many Moroccan wives live with the constant dread that her husband will take another wife, who is younger or prettier than she is. Among the Arabic-speaking population, it is certainly the exception that a man has more than one wife at a time, unless he is a wealthy man who owns several houses or country estates. But within many Berber tribes, polygamy is very widespread due to ongoing feuds, which make it highly desirable for a man to have a large family. Among the Berbers south of Fez, I have even heard tell of men who are happy for their wives to have had lovers who have contributed to the expansion of the family. Very few avail themselves of the right to have four wives. That is the highest permitted number. But the Moroccan would say that he is not so concerned with what the law states and that he can take as many wives as he wishes, as long as every fifth wife is a Negress. She seems to function as a full stop.

Much more common than polygamy is divorce. In practice, a man can divorce his wife at any point if the unpaid balance of the dowry does not prevent this. I once had in my service an older Berber from Sūs who had had twenty-five wives, but never more than two at a time. Two of them had died and twenty-two he had divorced.

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III. Moroccan Marriage Customs

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